


Judgment

by SerpentsKiss



Series: Battle Scars [2]
Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Steve/Bucky (implied) - Freeform, Thor/Loki (implied)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-07
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2018-01-23 22:24:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1581590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerpentsKiss/pseuds/SerpentsKiss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In spite of their growing love for each other, Steve and Thor both struggle with moving on from shades of their past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Judgment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kairin16](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kairin16/gifts).



It had only been a month, but things were going well. They spent more and more time together, starting with little stolen moments and ending with stolen days and evenings and nights into mornings they both felt they'd earned. The healing was starting for both of them, but it was a slow and painful process, as was the healing of any deep wound. Sometimes the scabs and scars began to itch, and they both had an uncanny sense for when the other was itching.

Steve was destroying another punching bag when he had the sense that it was time to go. He didn't stop to question it, just cleaned up his things and said goodbye to the guy he usually worked out beside and slung his bag over his shoulder. He didn't know why he was heading home, exactly, or why his steps quickened more the nearer he got. He just followed where he was being led, and thumped up the stairs to his apartment two at a time.

He could smell Thor as soon as he got inside. The god had taken to wearing some absurd cologne that Tony had talked him into (he still hadn't realized that Tony talked him into it because Banner was allergic to it, and Steve didn't have the heart to tell him – besides, he kind of liked it) and Steve could always smell him coming a mile away. He usually called before he came over, though, to make sure Steve was home. He'd actually never used the key that Steve had tucked into his pocket one day before he left, so Steve was curious – and not a little worried.

When he'd searched the entire apartment he opened the door onto the balcony and stepped out. His efforts were rewarded; Thor was there, sitting on the edge of the balcony with his legs forced out underneath the generous gap between the bottom rail and the deck. The wood was cracking from the strain, but Thor didn't seem to notice, and Steve silently promised himself that he'd remember to repair it. … or maybe replace it with something a bit higher up.

The god didn't look up as he approached. He was leaning his forehead against one of the uprights, hands clenched around the wooden bars. Steve recognized the signs – Lord, how they both knew them – and came to kneel behind him. Some of the tension in Thor's shoulders dissipated as Steve reached out and pulled his hair out of the messy ponytail, beginning to work his fingers through the small knots that always formed. A storm was gathering around them, a sure sign of two things: one, that Thor was upset, and two, that Thor's hair would be extra hard to tame.

He imagined that some people would be jealous, right about now. He knew what was on Thor's mind, knew why the sky was going to cry so that the blond giant wouldn't have to. He scooted a little closer and slid his arms around Thor, abandoning his hair to hold him and bury his nose in the back of his neck. The cologne was extra strong, so much so that Steve thought he must have put a spritz of it right there. He inhaled more deeply because the scent was calming to him, and Thor needed him to be calm.

They didn't speak, but they didn't need to. Steve could almost feel Loki's ghost there with them, torturing Thor with taunting words and desperately promising glances. In his mind, as he imagined it, he put himself between them like a guard, parrying Loki's words with sharp jabs of his own. Defending Thor from his own mind, his own memory. Crouching over him with his shield raised to protect his lover from the lover he could never know, from the not-brother who could have been all to Thor and the source of his strength but who chose instead to be the thorn in his side, his weakness. 

It was for the best, Steve fancied as dream Loki desisted, slowly melted away by the rain now dripping through their hair and soaking their clothes. He wasn't jealous of Thor's feelings for Loki, just as Thor wasn't jealous of his own feelings for Bucky. He just figured... well. If Thor needed strength, if the god of strength needed a source from which to take it, Steve had a hell of a lot more to spare than Loki did. 

He was also pretty sure that he was a hell of a lot more willing to give. Whatever he had, whatever it took, because he knew that before he ran out Thor would be there, giving back. Sharing. Whatever strength they had was no longer separate, but ran into an ocean of which they were both source and recipient. It was just that sometimes one of them got disconnected, that was all. Steve smiled over this thought as one of Thor's hands settled over his, as some of the tension drained from his lover's posture. Sometimes they got disconnected, yeah... but the other would always be there to hook them back in. To sustain. To remember, just in case, how to be strong.


End file.
